It’s different now. As we grow, our minds start becoming more receptive to the world around us. We tend to change how we look around. Every person starts to look different, every character seems new. Behaviors which earlier seemed to be slights, now appear to be meditated actions. The mind starts taking its turns and the habit of over-thinking creeps in. People seem changed, or even though they remain the same you see them anew; like you had never known them in their true sense. It is very difficult to find purity in relations, whether it be friendship, love or just acquaintance.
I recall how easy things were just a few years back, how easily you could find a “friend” in one, how easily two people could just shake hands, share meals and by these acts of untold simplicity, blend themselves into something so strong, so divine, and more importantly, so real.
I think that over the years; most of our minds have grown, and hence have given us countless opportunities to expand our internal environment and discover new possibilities. Growth, however, is not good always, and not identical for all things. If a virus grows a lot, it is bound to infect someone, and in that sense, I say I miss my heart as a boy of ten. A heart which was foolish, unaware, ignorant to jeopardy and could love everyone, as if we were of the same red.
If it were to be in a moment of weakness, I would have surely said that people are all fake nowadays, friendships are all covered with the filth of profit, and relations are just for self-use or benefit. But now as I stand after deeply pondering why and how one changes so… I say that we as humans, at least most of us, get influenced too easily by other people and their viewpoints. We make them our own, give them all the love we can, but seldom get the same type and quantity of affection in return.
Now some of you might argue that love need not be showy all the time, and each person could have their own way of expression, which could not be inferred by the other. To deny that would be foolish, and to agree, insensitive. On one hand stands this view, surrounded by sound logic and on the other stands the counter, filled with foolish emotion. It’s yet again the same battle; the heart? Or the head? I have seen a lot of people making promises of love and trust, and breaking them as it were a stair-case of sand, I’ve also seen a lot of people who say nothing, show nothing, but when the duty-bell rings, they are always there to fall back upon.
I feel that this aching issue, has three possible solutions. Firstly, time. A sapling can never give shade in a day’s time. So, keep pouring the water, slowly and steadily, one day, one minute, one moment at a time. Be sensible enough to do it slow, allow the water to soak in before you pour another cup. A flood causes wrath, and the reverse, drought. Showering a lot of emotions too quickly on someone can be a regretful decision. So be calm with your pursuit – a lot of water makes the sapling rot. However, if you see no growth, not even a leaf of development, in a long period of time, stop the inflow! The sooner you hold back, the more you save. To know if the time is correct, get in-touch with the gardener, he could be of some help, as for the plant, the gardener means the world. And as for a sapien ….a close fellow sapien does. Don’t over-think! Even if you consider the sapling to be dear to you, don’t delay in flushing out that love – the earlier the action, the lesser the pain. Miracles do happen, and that sapling might as well grow to be the best one, but again, “miracles”, they are.
Secondly, be strong. Accept the fact that a person can dislike you even after you are getting “hints” of being liked. What you might think to be a special gesture, might be the commonest one. Also accept that people do change, their thoughts do, their wants do…. circumstances do. So, your best friend once could simply not like you the same anymore, would want to avoid you, would want to ghost you. Being still in-touch would be humane. However, if you feel yourself being used, then you got to control your feelings and let your brain free you from the clutches of your heart. To say and to do are two totally different things. It is more than obvious that if you have given your heart to someone, whether it be in love or in friendship, to get it back would make you cry, forget about endorsing it to a new body. Emotional attachments once made are hard to break, but if a leech sucks your blood, wouldn’t you sprinkle salt? And if you feel you cannot cut that rope all of a sudden…do it one day at a time, slowly and steadily. TIME CAN HEAL EVERYTHING.
Lastly, talk. Sometimes just a few words from the mouth, into the eye, could do what a thousand messages cannot. Go all-out! Dare to be courageous. If you want to save something, you have to fight for it. Give the effort and let the result await. So that even if you lose, you have nothing to feel sorry for. Before leaving or staying, have a clear head and a light heart. The power to give these to you – are only possessed by speech, and speech alone. Hence, leave all thoughts and fears aside and speak!
Trust is fragile. Once broken, it cannot be regained in the way it was before. So be careful as to whom to trust and whom not to, as all people don’t have the same stomach, nor the care. Trusting someone is the highest level of love. So be very careful, because in the pursuit of reaching to the highest level you may lose all those levels you have ever reached. So be cautious before taking that final step. In turn, try to keep trust, yourself as well. Spurning out someone’s emotions and making a mockery out of it, for just a few moments of pleasure, isn’t a noble deed.
Go ahead, take that first step. Taking the first step has never made someone small. On the contrary it shines as a mark of courage on one’s persona. With maturity, most of us humans tend to grow our ego rather than understanding. If a relationship has to be preserved, the wall of ego has to be broken. Never forget, the most laden tree is the one most bent.
To conclude I would say that finding real friends and companions is very difficult in the current scenario. Being real today is out of fashion. Everyone wants to show themselves to the likings of the society. I feel in such a world there is nothing better than staying true to oneself, being oneself. Don’t market a different version of yourselves, find people (which indeed is hard to) who love you the way you are, love you back, care for you the same and aren’t afraid of acknowledging your existence and importance to the whole wide world. If you chase a million people’s dreams, you will never be able to find your own, so stay in-touch with yourself more than anybody else. Have yourself surrounded by the people who actually care for you. Try to know the person inside, not the body outside. Lastly, do not get affected by minor slights. By over complicating things we often lose out on experiences, memories and people who could have been an amazing addition to our lives.
After all that is said and done, it is not all darkness. It is just the lack in our effort to find our beams of light, even though life has given at least one to each one of us. We have to continue to strive and give life the time to pay us back.
By Aryaman Srimal
Is a student from South City International School and has represented voice of students in different forums for child rights. He is a committed and passionate student who wants to bring change and contribute towards justice in every way possible.